Sexist thinking taught to females from birth on had made it clear that the domain of sexual desire and sexual pleasure was always and only male, that only a female of little or no virtue would lay claim to sexual need or sexual hunger. Divided by sexist thinking into the roles of madonnas or whores females had no basis on which to construct a healthy sexual self.
— bell hooks in Feminism is for Everybody [p. 85] (via daniellemertina)
All women dream of meeting a partner who will like our bodies as they are. We long for partners who will offer affirmation and unconditional acceptance, particularly if we have never been affirmed or were affirmed only as children in our families of origin. We long for acceptance of our physical beings, to be admired as we are, even as we withhold affirmation from ourselves. This is the worst form of self-sabotage. We can “start where we are” by offering ourselves that gaze of approval we long to see in the eyes of someone else. The more we love our flesh, the more others will delight in its bounty. As we love the female body, we are able to let it be the ground on which we build a deeper relationship to ourselves—a loving relationship uniting mind, body, and spirit.
bell hooks, communion, “Ch. 8 “Growing into a Woman’s Body” (this chapter includes rethinking negative attitudes about weight and menstruation, striving for better health, allowing beauty to follow—“We cannot negate our bodies and love them [simultaneously].”)
(Source: thebootydontlie, via strugglingtobeheard)
Oftentimes the sexism in black communities, though intense, is so common that no one takes violence against females seriously. Violent actions by a black male may be explained as his response to racism and economic oppression (if that were the case black women would be gunning each other down and being equally violent to black males)… Whatever the roots of black male rage, it is sexist thinking and practice that teaches them that it is acceptable to express that rage violently.
bell hooks in We Real Cool
April 7, 2012 at 12:10am
Reblogged from afrafemme
This is the basic longing of many women, includ ing black women: to have a man who will assume the conventional sexist masculine roles. Concurrently, most black males are not looking for a woman who is a peer; they want a woman who is traditionally feminine as defined by sexist thinking, who subordinates her will to his, who lives to please him. They may support her working as long as she either makes less or turns over her income for him to be the keeper of the family finances. One of the biggest myths about black male-and-female relationships that abounds in this nation is that black women are powerful matriarchs who do not submit to the will of their men.
— bell hooks (via hiphopcheerleader)